What's for Diner??

Every morning at the breakfast-table my oldest son asks me: Mom what's for Diner? In a world where so many things are unpredictable, a child with autism wants clarity about as much things as he can. In the beginning I tried to answer as many question as I could. But nowadays I’m a more experienced autimom I don’t anymore. The problem in answering everything begins when you change the plans. When I tell my son that we ‘re eating carrots and I serve him peas instead we have a big problem. He gets angry, or when he was younger a tantrum. However if I tell him that I don’t know yet and I’ll tell him when he gets back from school there is no problem.

The “what” in “What’s for dinner?” is also a big deal in the life of an autistic child. Most children with autism have eating issues although that differs from child to child. My son has always had a problem with texture of some foods. For example he would not eat minced meat, he found it to be too grainy. I think that in their disability where they get over stimulated very easy, these foods over stimulate the mouth.

Cooking is therefore a bit of a challenge in my house. Thankfully I love cooking but with 3 boys it’s very difficult to put something on the table that everyone enjoys. Especially because I want them to eat healthy. What I have done is keep offering the foods that my son has a problem with. Not to eat a full plate, because that would be torture for him and me. But from time to time I had him taste a small bite. I applauded him for trying and didn’t give any attention to it. And just a few months ago he finished a full plate of spaghetti and meatballs. I know that for most moms that is not that special, a boy eating a plate of meatballs. But for me it had been a journey of years. With many hard moments where you think: “Why am I doing this?”. But in the end it was totally worth it.