Another Day at the Beach!

For years we have been going to the same location when we’re on holiday. Same country, same city, same apartment. Not because we don’t like adventure or we don’t like to experience new things. But because it gives us peace and “quiet”. Like anyone knows, who has to deal with autism on a daily basis, that little bit of familiarity creates peace. And peace is what I look for when I’m on a holiday with my family. That this familiarity is just a false sense of security I found out last summer.

We were chilling at the beach; the kids were playing in the sand and the sea. I was watching them and enjoying the moment. Life can be so simple and beautiful like that.

The boys each have a little fishnet that they have been using for some years to try and catch some sardines. Last year they caught a bucket full of them. My oldest son is in the sea when he spots a big fish. What happens next I didn’t see coming, even though we’re not beginners at this. He storms out of the sea and is extremely upset and crying. He absolutely refuses to go back into the sea, if there are fish like that in the water. The same sea, he has been swimming in for years now.

For most people this is hard to understand. But he is truly afraid. And because he is not a little kid anymore, it looks quite strange. Such a big boy crying, wanting to go and have fun with his brothers but because of his fear incapable of doing so.

Bystanders are shamelessly looking at my child, some are even laughing and pointing at him. For a mother that is one of the most painful things. For a minute I get really angry, but then I push that emotion aside because it’s not important. In that moment only one-thing matters: ”What can we do to help him get over his fear and have fun again as soon as possible?”

That’s why a few minutes later my son is on his fathers back (still crying and screaming franticly) getting into the sea. This also generates spectators. However from experience we know that the sooner you tackle these issues the better the result.

The deeper he gets in the water, the more he calms down. And after a while he even tries to stand by himself and is only holding his fathers hand. We have taken the first hurdle in tackling this issue.

Even though the next few days we’ll have to take this hurdle again and again. We will make sure as parents that with positive stimulation, help, a little bit of pressure and most of all not confirming his fear he will have fun at the beach again.

Just another day at the beach....